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"Remember, I pay your salary."
"I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer."
"Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does."
"Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning."
"I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead."
"Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence."
"Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds."
"Sall right occifer... I only had tee martoonis!"
"Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this here 44 magnum."
"Hey, you must have been doing 115 to keep up with me, awesome job!"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me."
"So tell me, are you on the take or what?"
"Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in."
"What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist."
"Dude! You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's night stand."
"So, you're not going to check the trunk, are you?"
"You know, I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer."
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